When You're Having Fun

You are the most generous, caring, PATIENT people I know.
I can't believe you're still here.


WHERE did it go?

Well, around here it has been beautiful, chaotic, sleep deprived, stunning, scary, elated, sad, overwhelming, blissful, random, nothing and everything like we thought it would be. {I have 73 more adjectives for you but I kind of figured I might be testing your patience already.}

We brought two babies home. Two babies who were born just a bit before we expected, but who needed no medical support whatsoever. Two babies who were so healthy we jumped the hospital after just two and a half days. Two babies who look everything and nothing like we expected. Two babies who LIVED.


We said goodbye to the Daddy after the most amazing two weeks. I don't know how to put into words what it is like watching someone you love rise up and be everything you ever imagined they could be. Watching them fill a role too big for anyone, and somehow doing it better than fiction. Watching them love in a way that brings tears in an instant. He is remarkable, and now he is busy being remarkable somewhere else. Being someone else. But we know he has the heart of a Daddy, and I can easily say those were the best two weeks of my life. At one point I looked over at him, our giant bed divided by a bouncy seat and a co-sleeper, filled by slumbering bundled infants and we both looked over at Joel's picture and while the tears poured down my face I simply said, "I'm just SO HAPPY." Our family was all there and it was wonderful.

Beth  came. And she did things like this:


and this:

Yes, Van is blonde. Very.
And yes, Maggie is dark. Very.
It's awesome.

Oh and this:

Oh. My. Heart.
If you are or can be near Northwest Indiana go hire
her . Because duh.

And now we are adjusting to life past the first two weeks. When our little ones shifted and changed and had a rough week (Oh, week THREE, you are on my list!) and now are maybe pulling past and finding a new normal once again. Life without the Daddy but with blessed loving support from family and hopefully when good nights follow the bad. It's twice as hard to get a good night when you have two babies, they take turns with the tough times which is simultaneously great and awful. When Van sleeps for 5 hours, Maggie has awful gas pain. When she dozes for a steady four, he can't stop spitting up. And yes, I am exclusively breastfeeding both of them. Just like every other mom I know, there is a story there too, and of course the challenges were nothing like what I thought and it has been a thousand times harder than I expected but my babies are worth every painful and difficult moment.

I truly hope we are emerging from the newborn fog and I can return to this space. I have SO MUCH to say and it is physically painful to stifle. Plus I want to share a gozillion pictures so you can all tell me how cute our kids are. Right? RIGHT??? And I think the world needs to know that Van is laid back and easy going, and he always lets an arm hang off of whatever, and that I call Maggie small and mighty with her bright, bright eyes and inquisitive nature. You need to know that she has a left  dimple and that Van is cold if the temperature falls below eighty. True story.

I hope. I hope. I hope. Surprisingly one of the most difficult things for me has been the fact that the chaos has reigned for so long. I did not expect to be consumed for this long and I have mentally struggled to cope with just surviving day in and day out for nearly a month. I stole these few moments today, and I have faith there are more to follow. But for now, I know that one little bum needs a clean diaper and I bet the other is shortly to follow. Duty calls. (Get it? DUTY? Hee.)

Oh,and they often get hiccups at the same time. Like right now.

So much love to you all,

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  • 9/7/2010 3:57 PM libby at ninesandquines wrote:
    That picture of their daddy holding them takes my breath away....enjoy
    Reply to this
  • 9/7/2010 3:59 PM love wrote:
    reading with tears streaming down my face. they are so precious. you all are so precious. praying for you.
    SO MUCH LOVE to you.
    Reply to this
  • 9/7/2010 3:59 PM Kellyn wrote:
    They are simply stunning!

    I love hearing how Twins have such personalities, how you can see it so much sooner then solo ones.
    Reply to this
  • 9/7/2010 4:02 PM Megan wrote:
    I haven't stopped thinking about you and what you must be doing. I am so glad you are SO HAPPY. And also stunned that you are managing two little lives and your own without the Daddy by your side. You are a strong woman. That is an understatement. <3 oxoxoxo
    Reply to this
  • 9/7/2010 4:02 PM Sarah wrote:
    Glad to hear from you . They are precious. I can't wait to see more pictures and hear more about them. Wishing you an easier time.
    Reply to this
  • 9/7/2010 4:03 PM Melissa wrote:
    Oh my heart is swelling with joy for you I could burst!

    I hope to be as lucky as you (February 2011) and I will continue to pray for you and your amazing little family.
    Reply to this
  • 9/7/2010 4:04 PM Tina wrote:
    I have been wanting to tell you how absolutely beautiful your babes are! Love the pictures. Beth did a fantastic job as always!

    Hope the newborn fog lifts for you soon! I love how everything has fallen into place thus far. Enjoy and can't wait to get you back on Twitter too!
    Reply to this
  • 9/7/2010 4:23 PM Kati wrote:
    DUTY!! hahahahahahahha

    Ahem. Sorry. I got carried away.

    They are INCREDIBLE. But you already knew that. And so did I. Oh, and YOU are incredible. But I already knew that. And so should you.

    GoDaddy is being evil again. If you need somebody to kick 'em in the teeth, I'm your girl. SO good to see you the other day and meet the Wonder Twins, as they are known in my mind. I also picture them with capes. Whatever. LOVE YOU.
    Reply to this
  • 9/7/2010 4:56 PM Michelle Jablonski wrote:
    What an incredible story you have shared over these many many months. Have you ever thought of putting this all in a book? How very very inspirational!
    Love you!
    Reply to this
  • 9/7/2010 7:10 PM Beth wrote:
    gorgeous pics! Doesn't the time just fly?
    Reply to this
  • 9/7/2010 10:43 PM Beth at Folding Laundry wrote:
    It feels like home, reading your words again. I am so glad you were able to find time for yourself today, to write. So good for you and selfishly, so good for us. I have missed you so much and am so in love with the fact that I have snuggled with your babies and met Leo. You and Leo are nothing short of AMAZING. I have such a good feeling about your family - there's so much love to share.

    I miss you and can't wait to see you. Will be soon, Brian and I were just comparing calendars yesterday.

    Praying for you and for Leo's safety, counting down until you five are together again.
    Reply to this
  • 9/7/2010 11:13 PM Kelly Love Well wrote:
    Beautiful. Delightful. Sigh worthy. Those babies are all that and more.

    I'm feeling the same push-pull tension with the blog lately (and my baby is 4 months old, so I really have no excuse). My response is to shower myself with grace and remind my soul that those who are living good stories rarely have time to write them while they are in the midst.
    Reply to this
  • 9/8/2010 10:00 AM Liz wrote:
    It is so wonderful to hear how things are going! Congratulations again - Van and Maggie are adorable, precious, and beautiful. You are clearly doing a great job!

    Good for you for being committed to breastfeeding. But if you need to go to pumping that totally counts (my own bias here).

    Good luck and many prayers too you. I hope Leo is home before you know it to help and marvel at his family!
    Reply to this
  • 9/8/2010 10:20 AM Jill wrote:
    They are amazing. You are amazing. Love to you whole family!
    Reply to this
  • 9/8/2010 12:23 PM Jodie Brooks wrote:
    They are beautiful!! So happy to hear things are going well and that you were able to get away and get us all caught up. Keep up the good work!! Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!!
    Reply to this
  • 9/8/2010 2:40 PM Shirley Darbee wrote:
    Its so wonderful to hear ( read) your words. They are so stunning gorgeous. Absolutely RIGHT!! I am so proud of all of you. Joels folks and his siblings are just amazing. God bless you all. I miss their Aunt Jenna and hope we can get together soon so I can meet all of you wonderous folks.
    Reply to this
  • 9/8/2010 8:07 PM Jennifer VanderStelt wrote:
    Ok, so those two are the most absofreakinlutely (haha is that a word)beautiful little beings. I HAVE to meet them and see you! It has been so long my friend and partner in well let's just leave it at partner, lol! I am going to teach them what to say when they want to EAT!!! I cannot beleive that was over 10 years ago, I know right! I hope that does not make you feel as old as it does me, By the way Sara Joy, you (and God and Leo) make miricles, aka Joel, Van, and Maggie. I am do happy for you!!!
    Reply to this
  • 9/9/2010 2:06 PM gretchen from lifenut wrote:
    It's so great to read this update on your lives. Your babes are beautiful.
    Reply to this
  • 9/9/2010 3:17 PM domestic extraordinaire wrote:
    They are beautiful and the photos Beth took are simply stunning. I love the shot with Joel's Monkey.
    Reply to this
  • 9/11/2010 2:50 PM Christy McDonald wrote:
    They are BEAUTIFUL!!! It makes me want one--they're that cute! Congratulations again. Casey and I are so happy for all of you.
    Reply to this
  • 9/16/2010 4:13 PM Adventures In Babywearing wrote:
    Oh goodness! I finally made it here to comment and gush over your beautiful miracles. I hope you are well. I miss you, but in a good way. I know you're in bliss, and heaven, and when you're there I just know you feel closer to Joel. Much much love.

    Reply to this
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    Re Zantac - one of my twin boys had very bad reflux. He was on Zantac for 9 months and it helped a lot - he would scream for long periods before we started it and after a few days that stopped. He was breastfed and the only thing that made a difference in the quantity of spit up was removing dairy from my diet. I read online that might help and I was desperate to find a partial solution. He has no issues with milk now (16 months).
    Reply to this
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