Third and Goal

These pictures were taken yesterday, on Joel's due date. (The first one)
So Monkey decided to make a cameo, he finds the belly to be a delightful hangout spot. It looks rather comfy, no?

                

Well, comfy unless you grew to this proportion in just 27 weeks and a couple days. 

                 

I had a routine check with Dr. Incredible and I'm measuring at about where a singleton would be at 35 weeks; I'd say that looks about right. I'm pretty close to as big as I ever got with Joel, so from here on out we're in new territory for my body. And for as much as I feel the difference between letting your body grow at a natural rate and amping up the speed, and I certainly notice the fact I am processing double the normal blood volume, I have to say I'm pretty impressed with how the old bod is keeping up. I'm 35, and not ashamed. In fact, I'm rather proud considering how fit I've become over the last 15 years and how good I feel most of the time. We are doing chock full of awesome considering the proximity of my pregnancies, my age, multiples and that we are now in the third trimester so hey - go me!

The babies were once again both breech. They've spent nearly this entire pregnancy in that position and I am becoming concerned about the lack of time and space left for them to shift. Those of you who have known me a while have seen me when I have a goal and a plan - I am kicking it in high gear to give them the chance to turn. Between the entire medical team and my spouse there are a few theories floating around why I keep growing breech babies, and I think they all have some validity, so I am fighting them tooth and nail. I didn't realize how important it was to me until I began to face down the reality that they may not turn.
 
*Sidebar: I KNOW the number one priority is healthy babies. I KNOW we can have a surgical birth and all three be just fine. I WILL accept this if I must.

Because of Joel's birth there is something in me that desperately needs to birth these babies naturally. If I have to let it go, I will, but I am not one to go down without a fight and right now I still have choices. I am going to give these two every opportunity to get their little noggins where they belong before I accept that reality. A singleton would have a lot more time, the Peppers are going to run out of room to make the maneuver much sooner. Remember those abs I mentioned? They are part of what is working against us. With a nearly full term belly you can still trace the lines of my oblique muscles down my sides. A tight stomach is not a breech baby's friend; I can't do anything about that but encourage them to move as soon as possible before they have no choice.
I have researched this like, well, like a lawyer. Which means from every angle, looking at studies and medical research and every attempted methodology. I've been seeing a chiropractor for a while now and will continue. The working theory is that I've had some imbalances in my physiology for a very long time that likely contributed to Joel's position, and are continuing to do the same to the Peppers. We are trying to work them out, but adding physical therapy to the mix to push muscles long locked in unhealthy patterns into a better place to allow my pelvis to work the way it should. I am also aggressively employing methods at home having to do with contorting myself into various positions multiple times per day and encouraging the babies to move with ice, music and light. Sound crazy? Walk in my shoes a day, this is the least of my crazy.  

I really, really need this to work. The thought of giving it up has been sending me into a tailspin. Am I looking for a do-over? Probably something like that, but I need it in a way that I'm having a hard time articulating, so will you pray for the Peppers to turn? I know it sounds silly, and in the big picture this is not the most important thing but it is really, really important to me.

I know I don't write about my faith as much as I used to. It isn't that I have less, it's that somehow it feels assumed to me lately. In case you're wondering, I've placed in all in God's hands. It's where these babies have and will spend their entire lives, whatever that may be, and I know it is where I am safe. He controls the outcome of every endeavor, and I know that my role is limited. I'm just doing my part, and waiting to see what wonders the God of the universe has in store for us all.
 
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  • 6/4/2010 2:49 PM Mrs. Cline wrote:
    Turn babies, turn! I believe with you that God is ultimately in control and their birth will be a joyful thing, no matter how they choose to make their debut.
    Reply to this
  • 6/4/2010 2:50 PM Bears wrote:
    Have I told you that I love your belleh? BELLEH!

    I was all angry at the Monkey picture because, even though I love (like SERIOUSLY FREAKING LOVE) the Monkey, he is obscuring the BELLEH. But then there was another picture with FULL ON BELLEH going on and I got over it and was able to scroll back up and appreciate the Monkey Belleh too. LOVE.

    That is all.
    Reply to this
  • 6/4/2010 3:16 PM love wrote:
    okay, i'm with you...turn, bebes, turn!

    you look great!
    Reply to this
  • 6/4/2010 3:16 PM gretchen from lifenut wrote:
    Adding to what surely will be a chorus of prayers asking for the babies to turn.

    Even if one turns, that's great, right? My SIL had her twins vaginally. The first was heads-down, the second was breech but his brother paved the way. So to speak.

    I'm sure you are very familiar with the spinning babies website by now? Will you try acupuncture?
    Reply to this
  • 6/4/2010 3:55 PM Bri wrote:
    Turn darling babies, turn.

    I saw that gretchen from lifenut mentioned spinning babies. Have you looked into it? When I was pregnant with Ivy, I had many conversations with Gail Tully, the woman who started spinning babies. She was going to attend (as my doula) my VBAC with a hospital midwife, but since Ivy came early and fast, Gail never made it. Anyway, she is so WONDERFUL and if you are interested, I'm sure she'd be willing to talk with you.

    Lots of love.

    Bri

    P.S. You look incredible!!!
    Reply to this
  • 6/4/2010 5:00 PM Adventures In Babywearing wrote:
    I love seeing pics of you, so thanks for that. And you look incredible- your hair is so long!

    I am on your side- and I'm praying it all works out in a way better than even you could have imagined.

    Also, what you said about your faith- I kind of forget to remind people of that, too, and I hope they also assume correctly the same.

    You are doing great, you're going to continue to do great!

    Steph
    Reply to this
  • 6/4/2010 5:21 PM Erin wrote:
    Tell those babies Aunt Erin will be spanking them if they don't turn. (Don't tell them that I'm spanking them either way.)
    You look gorgeous, my sweet friend.
    Reply to this
  • 6/4/2010 11:30 PM Betheen wrote:
    If it sounds crazy, it is only to those who don't know you. I love your crazy. This entry made me want to drive to your house and hold the flashlight, or whatever else would help. You've got great perspective on this and I am so rooting (and praying!) for you. HUG!! Love, B.
    Reply to this
  • 6/5/2010 11:10 PM Amanda wrote:
    Love the belly! Love the babies! Love you!
    Reply to this
  • 6/8/2010 10:57 AM Katie wrote:
    Sara,
    I understand how very important this is to you and I will certainly say specific prayers that the peppers will move their little noggins - soon!
    Love to you ALL as you have been on my mind constantly this week!
    Katie
    Reply to this
  • 6/9/2010 11:01 AM Kim wrote:
    Oh lady, I understand this so well. Emma was footling breech, so she was my c-section baby. I found out she was breech just 3 weeks before she was born. In that 3 weeks I did everything in my power to get her to turn.

    So, I have had an obsession with my babies being head down. I freak out a bit (ok, a lot) if they are still breech at 25 weeks. I know that they still have time to turn, but it still freaks me out.

    When I was pregnant with Seth, one thing that really helped was Optimal Fetal Positioning, PT (which you are doing), Chiropractor doing the Webster Technique and lots of visualizations.

    You may already do this, but I will tell you anyway. Talk to the babies. Tell them about what will happen in birth. Tell them about you and your family. Tell them why you need them to be head down. Visualize them head down. Say to yourself 50 times a day, "My babies are in the perfect position for birth".

    I did these things with Seth and he was in the perfect position for birth.

    I so know the anxiety and crazy that comes with these subsequent pregnancies. Hang in there and if you need me, email anytime love.
    Reply to this
  • 6/9/2010 11:35 AM Esther Crawford wrote:
    I get what you mean by wanting, so desperately, to have a certain birth - I felt that way too. I wanted a homebirth deep inside in a way that is hard to articulate. I wanted that experience, that story. But it wasn't to be for me and after laboring at home for about 10 hours my midwife took me into the hospital where I had to have a c-section.

    So, may you find peace in whatever happens - but in the meantime, here's hoping it turns out just the way you want!!
    Reply to this
  • 6/9/2010 11:11 PM Megan at SortaCrunchy wrote:
    I will absolutely join you in praying for those babies to turn! I was also going to recommend Spinning Babies which I am confident you have looked into by now.

    I'm also praying that God will make straight a path for you in this, and if it looks like that path means Cesarean birth, that you'll be able to work closely with your team of caregivers to have the birth experience that you want. (I'm a two-time C-birther . . . I can imagine the desperate desire for them to turn!)
    Reply to this
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    God bless you.I am on your side- and I'm praying it all works out in a way better than even you could have imagined.
    Reply to this
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