Curious
Wow.
I knew the Peppers would have an impact. I knew that people love us and pray for us. But then you all showed up last week and it was far more real than I could have imagined. Thank you so much. If I owe you an email, I’m sorry. I am horribly behind, but working to catch up. You matter to me, all of you. Again, thank you so much.
My guess is you have a few questions – thought I’d field the ones I’ve most frequently received in person.
When are you due?
Well, that’s kind of a good question. The doctors say the babies’ 40 week due date is August 27, but I disagree because my cycles were wonky, it should be a few days later. That doesn’t really matter because the doctors have very little doubt they will be born before then anyway. So…August.
How are you feeling?
Better now. Actually, I had a one week reprieve, which has ended. So crummy, really crummy. I will write a whole post on how a pathetic person who had the world’s easiest pregnancy then gets TAKEN DOWN by two babies the size of rice grains. The nausea has been a force to be reckoned with, but so am
No really, how are you feeling?
Ah, yes. How does the mama of a dead baby do the next pregnancy? With neurosis and tears and frequent rabid panic. Until we found out this was twins I was a much bigger mess. I hated having to share Joel’s pregnancy memories with another baby. I am sure I will blog about those early days, as much as we desperately wanted this baby, I felt horrible regret, and then guilt. It was awful. Somehow the fact that they are twins has changed so much of that for me. It’s all brand new and I still get to keep all my Joel memories and experiences in his little bubble. But I also know way too many angel mamas. I’m scared, almost all the time. I make no assumptions. You’ll hear me say “hopefully”, “if things go well”, and “if they make it” far too often for anyone’s comfort but mine.
Do twins run in your family?
Yes and no. My dad has an aunt and uncle who are twins. My sister sadly miscarried twins early in her marriage. I consider our babies to be (super)naturally conceived. I mentioned previously we were having some fertility issues; I had to be on medication to sustain a pregnancy, but not to make one. These kiddos got here by my crazy ovaries and God’s hand.
Is the pregnancy healthy?
Yes. It has been a hairy ride so far. I am now off the medicine that was needed to prevent miscarraige through most of the first trimester. Shortly after we lost the baby I simply call Angel in October, it was determined my body was not producing the right hormones to sustain a pregnancy. No baby would survive without medical intervention. Praise God for medicine, technology and compassionate doctors. There have been other issues and medications and stress galore early on, but the Peppers look SUPER.
When did you find out?
We found out we were pregnant the week of Christmas, what an amazing gift. We told our immediate families right away; even though there was a risk of something happening I needed the support network. Leo was going to be away, and I was convinced I could not handle bad news alone. We found out about the twins on January 28. It is a wonderful story, and will have a post of its own. There was lots and lots of crying. Wait, there’s still lots and lots of crying, but I digress.
Will Leo be here when the babies are born?
We don’t know. He will be flown home when we know they are coming. Whether or not he will make it in time is a whole other question. He will not get to stay long and will likely be in a scary part of the world until the babies are at least six months old, probably a bit longer. We will make it work. We pray for his and the Peppers’ safety. Everything else can be handled; we just need healthy babies and a healthy Daddy.
If you have more questions feel free to ask, I don’t promise to answer them all, but I love hearing from all of you! More soon, I promise.
Are you going to name one or both of them after me? If they're B/G twins, one can be Erin and the other can be Aaron. Man, I am SO HELPFUL.
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We named our daughter Erin, and the best man in our wedding was Aaron. It wasn't intentional, naming her after him, but we do love the name. Some of the best people we know have been named Aaron/Erin.
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Erin and Aaron.. I like the ring of that!
I dont have any other questions.. Thanks for answering those. CANT wait to find out what kind of peppers they are. (we are finding out right???) (and by we.. I kinda just mean you..) (but if you do find out you'll share with us right??) (and by us.. I mean me!)
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Hi Sara! The question I've been wondering is HOW DID YOU KEEP IT A SECRET AT CUPCAKE?!
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I'm so happy for you. And that we get to be a part of this new
journey.
Steph
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sweet friend, i've been thinking of you so much. you and your little peppers.
i agree that my only question would be about if you'll find out or not...and if you'll share names? i love when people DON'T find out. {and obviously this is about me.} not really and i think it's fun either way. praying for you all!!
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Oh, I have been thinking of you so often lately! (I think I need to e-mail you a private question.) Praying for you and the Peppers.
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as a babyloss mama i am equal parts jealous and super damn excited. i love so much your statement that carrying twins brings the unexpected back into a pregnancy. made totally sense in my head. i can't promise i'll always be able to read, but know that i will never stop sending you all the love i have. joel is going to be a busy big brother with two sibs on the way!
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So.. I am sorry if this is too sensitive of a subject. I know how fired up you get about it.
But if you don't mind.. What are your ideas for a birth plan this time around?
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Duet DHA prenatal vitamins have B6 in them, which is supposed to help with nausea (or you could just get B6 pills, although I had a hard time keeping them down)...I found the best thing was glass after glass of icy cold water. And a nice chilly tile floor to press my face against.
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Thank you so much for answering all the questions that I feel too weird to ask, ya know since I'm a total stranger and all!
It sounds like things are coming together so wonderfully. I pray that you keep feeling better and better.
I am so excited to read about this journey as you live it. So many exciting things to come. It seems like names may have already been picked for you!
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Sara,
I am so happy for you! I know what these babies mean to you and "Leo," and I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers. I've been a little remiss in keeping up with you, but fortunately a mutual MSU-LAW friend alerted me to the good news. I promise to stay more in the loop now!
With Love,
Lindsay
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I am so very happy for you and I think about you and the peppers every day.
xoxo
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I think about the rapid panic, even now with an empty womb I envision what it will be like and I run scared but then I imagine no more children and freak out about that.
I can't tell you enough how much I love your honesty. It feels warm like home and chills me to the bone. Both are needed. xoxo
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I, too, is sometimes see, but somehow had not attached any importance to this.
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