Out of the Blue
I would like to begin by petting the elephant in the room.
I call him George. He has adorable floppy ears and will never be rogue. He likes hay and peanuts and especially when I scratch him right between the eyes. One time he gave me a ride to the
It feels like I've been tiptoeing around George, and it is so against my nature I am done. (George is way huge, did I mention that?) Yes, I want to be pregnant. No, I am not. There are some medical issues. (Unbelievable, I know. Irony, unfairness, and all around horror noted.) We are working with my incredible doctor. (She needs a bloggy name, any suggestions? Keep in mind I ADORE this woman, she has been the guardian of my sanity on occasion and is completely committed to this duty. (pun intended)) Now, off to other things.
Like how I was trying not to do the full ugly cry on the way to work this morning in the car so I did the half sob, gasp, tear, tear, hiccup, tear, half sob. (Hence the need to love on George and inform you this was not brought on by pregnancy hormones) People say there will be good days and bad days. I have told people that I have good days and bad days. Thing is, that no one tells you and you forget until you get PUNCHED IN THE GUT from nowhere that the bad days are random and refuse to be predicted. Sunday? The six month anniversary of Joel’s death? Not a bad day. Today? No particular meaning at all, just random Wednesday? POKED IN THE EYE with a red hot poker. Today I am just so SAD and so incredibly….WANTING. Yes, today is a day I when I just covet and covet and covet.
Also, today is noticeably yet another day when I demonstrate my love for the parenthetical.
Apparently both grief and bad grammar are random, who knew?
Dr. Incredible, naturally.
Today seems to be a shitty day across the board for everyone I know. The universe must be off balance.
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Oh Sara, my heart is breaking for you as I read this post. I can't imagine...but know I am praying for you!
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I cannot relate to the loss of your precious Joel, but I can relate to the wanting and coveting. Sending hugs!
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Oh, darling. I wish I could give you a real live hug right now. Today was awful and I'm so glad it's minutes from being over. I think the times when it doesn't make sense to feel so sad makes it even worse. I'm praying for you lots.
I'm taking charge and tomorrow is going to be way better.
Steph
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how about dr. skippy (it sounded good in my head at least.)
being sucker punched sucks. wishing 9359823749 consecutive good days coming your way!
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Dr. Rockstar.
Orrrrrrr Dr. McKickAss. Orrrrrrr Dr. Remarkable Splendid Tremendous Grand (yeah, I looked up synonyms for awesome. What of it? Thesaurus = love).
Anyway, I plan on emailing you today. It *might* be snarky. At least a little bit. xoxo
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