More Than Fine
So.
So I was going to go off on another muse about life without Joel.
But I got sick of that idea.
I am sick of being serious.
So then I was going to go off about how sick I am of being serious all the time. This was a good one. But I wrote it like three times and it was stinky every single time. Like dog fart stinky.
Uh huh.
And then I realized that what I want to tell you today, what I want to memorialize and record is that I got my grateful back. And it’s way better than getting your groove back.
Leo got home last night and I can’t stop looking at him. Kissing him. Giggling at him. Swooning at him. Sighing at him sitting there with our little dog.
I spent the weekend with one of my sisters and her little wiener dog.
I bought a cute new laptop bag and a sassy shirt.
I went to church and sang my heart out.
I went to our small group and got enlightened by my really smart friends.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been living.
And not just breathing and doing, but living. The trick is that this only works for me when life is tinged with the sparkle of gratitude. When I can see every moment through the refraction of mercy and grace. When I realize that I don’t deserve any of it, but boy do I have it good. I have it so. very. good. My life defines the phrase “blessed beyond measure”. I’d love to count my blessings but I can’t. There are too many. I’m not bragging, I am humbled.
Even without my son here, I know that this life is good. Good and temporary. I get to spend eternity with that baby. And as much as I would life this good life of mine to be filled with moments of him, it is still filled with good. I am still so richly blessed. And I get to spend eternity with him.
Eternity is even better than good.
I am so happy that you're living. You're living every day for Joel, as I know he'd want you to do!
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Dear Sares, not that I'm questioning your judgment, but I'm going to need some photographic evidence of said sassy shirt and cute new laptop bag. Mostly so that I can then talk to you about the cuteness and sassiness of said items. Also, I guarantee that my husband can out-fart your dog ANY DAY. For real. No doubt about it. That is all. Love always, Bears.
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You do deserve it.
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Would love to see this new skirt!
This post makes my heart smile for you.
xo
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Thank you for writing this. Beautifully written.
I have began to see signs of life again myself and what you have written has given me hope more are on the way.
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You are right, life IS temporary! I read a quote the other day that talked about how life on earth is like a blink of an eye in heaven, so our babies will barely even notice our absence! The quote said it much more beautifully, and I think there is a blog about it forming in my mind.
I'm so glad you are living again. I've been learning to appreciate life again myself.
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Reading this at 7:43 am before I begin my workday, I feel so blessed by this entry. I am praising God with you, Sara Joy. This is truly a reason to give praise.
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Amen!
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Je suis très apprécié pour ce blog. Son un sujet d'information. Il m'aide beaucoup àrésoudre certains problèmes.
Ses chances sont tellement fantastiques et le style de travail si rapide. Je pense quec'est peut-être aider à vous tous. שליחת sms
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