Affirmation
It finally happened.
“Do you have any children?”
“Yes, I had a son in June. He only lived four days.”
Cue horrified expressions and me stumbling to make people more comfortable.
I could have said no. I don’t have any living children. It would be the truth…mostly…sorta.
I know that I don’t have to make people feel better when they don’t know what to say. I was raised way too Dutch (read hospitable and accommodating) for that though, trust me I tried.
I don’t know if that will always be my answer. I think I am much more dreading the day I just say “no”.
I hope I don’t have that day, because even though I don’t get to parent him, this is my son, and I am his Momma.
I have a son, he just doesn’t live here.
I know you probably didn't mean for this post to be funny, but it made me laugh out loud (cause I'm just inappropriate like that.) It reminded me of the first Mother's Day after my mom passed away and someone was jokingly chastising me for not spending the day with my mom. They then asked what my mom was doing that day, and I didn't know what to say that wouldn't make them feel like a total ass. So I said, "Oh, she's just laying around." But then that kind of made me feel like an ass. Even still, my mom has been gone for about 5 years now, and I still don't know what to say when people ask about Mother's Day (which happens more often than one might realize.)
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You do have son. You are a mother. It is an uncomfortable and awkward question, and you can answer it however you want, without appologizing.
Hugs.
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This is such a difficult answer, but you know what? Your answer was right and you don't have to worry about how the other person may respond. Maybe, just maybe, that person went home and hugged their family a little bit tighter, all because you answered that question honestly.
He is your son, you are his Mother. That's the way it will always be.
He is so beautiful.
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I wanted to thank you for the comment you left on my blog (racism post) and let you know I spent time getting to know you and your dear little boy, Joel.
I think you answered with honesty and with a mom's heart. Joel was, is, and always will be your son.
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