The Long and The Short of It
I have 27 long stories in me today, and cannot seem to write any of them. Here are the short ones:
- I can’t handle anymore baby loss sadness. I have a desperate need to connect to parents who have lost a baby, but at the same time hearing all the stories is making me terrified to try to have another baby . Plus it is overwhelmingly depressing.
- I can’t handle anymore happy pregnancy stories. I have a desperate need to hear stories of healthy pregnancies and babies, but at the same time it makes me sick with jealousy and bitterly angry. Plus it intensifies my already manic baby-fever.
- Cleaning half the barn the other day after a year off means I worked up and through a blister on my thumb where there used to be a callus. It hurts.
- Wearing maternity clothes when you aren’t pregnant is ucky. I can’t wait to be back into my fabulous wardrobe. Patience, patience.
- I really hope musk melon is good for you in large doses because there is a high likelihood that I will consume a half of one today. Again.
- I can’t wait to run by the lake this weekend.
- Technology frustrates me to my wit’s end. Which is not very far, by the way. This site does not do what I want it to, like ever, and sometimes it doesn’t even doing the things it is doing very well. Bah humbug.
- My husband is talented, smart, funny, patient and cuh-razy good looking. I don’t deserve him, but boy am I grateful. Especially for that patient part.
- Joel seems incredibly distant to me right now. I can’t believe I had a baby. I am really hoping this is just grief cycling and not permanent because I HATE IT.
- Our dog makes me laugh every single day. When I figure out how to load a video here I will share the dauschund daily madness with you. Then you will laugh too, and no you may not have her. But you are welcome in advance for the laughs.
Sara, I found your blog from nataliejanett's twitter account. As I'm reading this page, the first bullet point (I can’t handle anymore baby loss sadness. I have a desperate need to connect to parents who have lost a baby, but at the same time hearing all the stories is making me terrified to try to have another baby . Plus it is overwhelmingly depressing.) hit me. You see, I am also a mom who has to live the rest of my life without a son. I am also a mom who was blessed the next year with a beautiful daughter. I'd love to share both my amazing stories with you. I have two blogs..one about my daughter and one about me...and I have my son's story on there. My heart aches for you.
P.S. I'm from Michigan..grew up in Sterling Hgts. but have lived in Florida for nine years.
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